I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. Not so much a bad rut. More like a fairly comfortable one, but maybe perhaps too comfortable because then I’m less inclined to make my my way out. Maybe I don’t want to anyway, I don’t know.
It’s no secret that this is the time of year when this sort of thing happens. It’s cold out. Like – one morning it was 4F so of course our pipes froze in the barn and our old drafty house struggled to stay above 60. It’s that kind of cold. We have to pile on layers to get outside, and then Little Bear runs away squealing in glee because it’s just SUCH A FUN GAME to peel off the socks and the long johns as soon as Mama layers them on him.
It’s also almost the shortest day of the year. I am beyond lucky that both of my kids still nap every afternoon, but the double-edged sword means that often, by the time they are getting up and ready to roll again, it is getting dark out. I scurry around like a mad-woman barking, “Hurry up! If you don’t hurry up it will be dark!” when they casually wander downstairs and announce that they want to ride bikes. We have spent many a flashlight-lit afternoon pedaling back and forth on our dead end. Back and forth. Back and forth.
Back and forth, riding bikes. I think that’s also part of the rut. Little Bear finally learned to ride his two-wheeler, graduating from his balance bike to no training-wheels over the course of a week (YAY!). This was after months and months of us knowing he was ready but him pushing back in his Little Bear way, and insisting that he stick with the balance bike because, let’s be honest, he was very very good at it. So now, he can pedal and weave his way down the road even faster, and it’s all he ever wants to do. Junior is also content to ride his bike, all day every day. And while I love to watch them and I marvel at their physical agility, to be completely honest, it gets boring for me. I am sick of standing in the road while they ride bikes. Back and forth. There, I said it.
I feel a little bit like our tiny section of dead end road has become a part of our house, and that when we go out to play there, it’s no different than playing in the living room. Of course, there’s fresh air, which is great, and the boys get more exercise, which is also great. But we miss out on so many of the things that I find beneficial outdoors. There is very little creativity in their play when they are pushing dump trucks, riding pedal tractors, riding bikes. There is a monotony to it. I know that we are privileged to even experience a monotony to our outdoor play, but I am also missing the days of endless wanderings through the woods, the concentration of building imaginary worlds out of forest-found materials, the magic of discovering animal tracks or coyote scat. But right now the boys just want to ride their bikes, again and again. Back and forth.
I do try to bring them to new places to ride their bikes, but the options aren’t that varied. We are at a strange place where I still need to be on foot to help Little Bear out, but they are both much faster than me once they get going. We did hit a local BMX track a few weeks ago, which was fun for all, but now with the ground frozen it’s no longer a great option. I like to bring them off-road to trails, but this isn’t much fun yet for Little Bear who struggles to get going in the grass. His balance bike was a different story, so he gets frustrated when he can’t pedal through a field. We’re getting there, but it will take some practice.
Another point that’s thrown off our daily outdoor routine has been my writing. My content writing has taken off and I published 30 articles last month. So yes, you could say I have been busy. It feels great to be paid for my writing, and great to do something that’s intellectually stimulating. I feel accomplished at the end of the day, but I also feel guilty because my time spent writing comes at a cost – the house is dirty, the boys were watching more TV, and this blog starts to collect cobwebs.
But this week, with the cold sweeping in and Christmas around the corner, and the boys clawing at one another at epically new rates, I made some changes to get us going again. To get us up and out of the rut, stretching our legs, refreshing our lives. We needed to hit the reset button in a big way.
First, I banned screen-time. We aren’t generally a huge TV family (as you probably could have guessed), but I was using it more and more to occupy the boys while I was trying to write, and, not surprisingly, they were falling into the habit of expecting it. I hated that. They would come downstairs first thing without so much as a “Good morning” and ask if they could watch a show. Then when it was over, they would fight. They were restless and agitated. The TV was just a bandaid when really what they needed a saline wash.
So we stopped watching TV. The first day they cried and pleaded and went through all five stages of grief. But since then, they haven’t even asked for it. It’s been nine days without TV, and they don’t even bring it up anymore. They are playing better together. They are playing better independently. And my guilty conscience feels better too.
Today we ventured out for a kid-paced walk at one of our favorite spots. It snowed yesterday and today was rainy with temperatures in the 50s, so the world is mud-wonderful and slippery soft. We do have some big adventures planned over the next few months (which helps because, it’s always fun to anticipate), but sometimes we forget that there are adventures to be had just down the street. Sometimes we forget that little moments, little things, can refresh us too. Here are some scenes from our micro-adventure.